This. This right here. This is the first post of my blog. Yet another blog. But this one’s mine. Oh yeah. And that means a lot to me.
You’re probably wondering about the title of this first blog post. Well, let me let YOU have a sneak peek into my mysterious mind… Wait, let me rephrase that. This blog will not offer you mere “sneak peeks”; rather, it will slash my abdomen and crack my cranium wide open and pour out my guts, feelings, wits, thoughts, heart, soul and brains all over your confused and bemused eyeballs. No holds barred. That’s what blogging is all about, riiiiight...?
“Coulda woulda shoulda” simply refers to the fact that this is something which I have wanted to do for a long time. It’s one of my little dreams and ambitions which, with this post, finally has taken that first difficult step towards fulfilment. I have a good few dreams and ambitions. Haven’t we all? But, sadly, we let the tethers of everyday life and mundanity restrain and curb them. After all, they are only dreams, right?
And that’s what the “Buddha” refers to. Many people probably go through life with dreams and ambitions about things they want to achieve – mountains to climb, sights to see, bands to play in, what have you – but still they end up old, perhaps without having experienced any of it. Does that mean they’ve lived a life in vain? I don’t know… yet. I think a lot of people end up finding happiness in completely different places to where they might have thought. That perfect life partner and your lovely children, that actually-quite-interesting-and-rewarding-job, those excellent work colleagues. And they let their happiness in their close surroundings guide their once-so-restless minds all content and nice through life. Totally Zen-like, man. Radical.
Hell, I might even join them! Sitting there in my rocking chair at the old people’s home, going “You might as well give up now, Even. Your foolish dreams will come to naught! Stop distracting yourself from what you should focus on! Getting an education, a job, a wife and some kids! (And a cat)” Well, sorry future-senile-Even, I just have to try a few things before I join you there on the porch. (Save a seat for me, though…)
I’ll be the first to admit that starting a blog doesn’t seem like a very ambitious “dream”. But I'm sure that those of you who know me well will have gathered by now that this weirdo isn’t going to settle for a 9 to 5 job behind some desk – perhaps meddling with people’s minds (I study psychology for those of you who weren't sure). But I needed to start this blog for my own sake. I have a personality that craves attention, and not only that: I crave sharing my experiences, my thoughts, my everyday life, my history, my world.
I know a lot of my friends will think of this blog post as quite pseudo-philosophical, wannabe-grandiloquent, and consequently pompous and a bit awkward. But this is who I am. I think even some of you might have guessed already. I am a closet lover-of-pretentious-pseudo-philosophy. Especially my own, mind you.
So deal with it! This is my blog! Excelsior!